...to Be a Phone-sex Operator

...to Be a Phone-Sex Operator

[ “Autumn," 23, phone-sex operator and college student ]

AUTUMN: Hi, how are you?

ESQUIRE: I'm good. How about you?

AUTUMN: I’m great. Thanks for asking. You feeling horny? ESQUIRE: Um, well, actually...I’m a writer.

AUTUMN: Oh.

ESQUIRE: I'm supposed to be doing a piece on what it feels like to be a phone-sex operator.

AUTUMN 0-kay.

ESQUIRE: So, uuhat is it like?

AUTUMN: There’s not really one usual call. I get some guys uuho call up and want to talk about incest or bestiality....

ESQUIRE: Do you like that?

AUTUMN: Uh, yeah! Some of the calls. I would be lying if I said I liked every one of the calls, you know what I mean? But some are cool. Some guys just call and talk. Maybe they don’t have anyone else to talk to.

ESQUIRE: What is the weirdest kind of call you get?

AUTUMN: I had a guy who wanted me to, urn, drive nails into him.

I think that's pretty weird.

ESQUIRE: Do you ever get women callers?

AUTUMN.Very rarely. Women are really straight and to the point. They want you to lick their pussies and get off the phone and thank you.

ESQUIRE: Do you enjoy it?

AUTUMN: Well, it depends on the call. Some calls, I get really, really into it and get very, very horny.

ESQUIRE: Actually horny? You're not just saying that?

AUTUMN: No! But, I mean, in some calls I get a guy off in thirtythree seconds.

ESQUIRE: Yeah, well, you know that happens to every guy once in a while. How long’s an average call?

AUTUMN: Well, that’s hard. One guy I talk to, his average is six hours.

ESQUIRE: Whoa! Is that Sting?

AUTUMN: [Coughs.]

ESQUIRE: What do you put on yourtaxes?

AUTUMN: I’ve tried all different things: Fantasy artist, phone entertainer, actress, and telemarketer.

ESQUIRE: Is this your main job?

AUTUMN:!’ m also a college student.

ESQUIRE: Do you find that stuff you study in class comes through in the calls?

AUTUMN: A lot of people ask about what I take. I’ll tell them what I’m taking. We’ll talk about homework sometimes.

—INTERVIEWED BY MATT HABER This call cost Esquire ninety-nine cents per minute.